Dinosaur Revolution review

Well, that was painful.  I decided to join the trend and review the show that's been so hyped- Dinosaur Revolution.  Little did I know my yearly allowance of eyerolls would be used up.  I only watched the frirst episode "Evolution's Winners" and frankly have no desire to sample more.

First the good.  The models were usually excellent, with non-pronated hands and all that good stuff.  I especially enjoyed the dilophosaurian snouts on the Cryolophosaurus, and the Mongolian mammals which weren't just shrews or mice.  I also liked the homage to Dryptosaurus and Ceratosaurus artwork in the Cryolophosaurus section (though I don't think they could really stand on their tails, given how most theropod chevrons look).  The Gigantoraptor's feathering was more problematic, as it seemed more like a naked theropod covered in feathers than an actual feathered creature like a bird, where body outlines are hidden and feathers interact and fold.  Its wings were always held out in front, which for a display is fine, but even the female who wanders up is posed this way.  The animation itself was a mixed bag.  Most moved smoothly, but the Saurosuchus looked unnatural for instance.  Similarly, the rendering was good for most, but the therapsids in the opening seen looked plasticy.  What's that you say?  My "good" paragraph's actually mostly full of criticisms?  Guess that prepares the way for the rest of the review...

What made Dinosaur Revolution most difficult to watch is the rampant anthropomorphism.  Basically none of the subjects actually behaves like a reptile, or a bird, or even a non-ape mammal for that matter.  They're chock full of human mannerisms.  You can always tell what they're supposed to be feeling, as if brains that size could even house such emotion.  But it's not just behavior.  My jaw dropped at the blatant 'sexy eyelash' marks on the female Eoraptors.  Why not just go the whole hog and give them real eyelashes they can flutter alluringly?  Then the male's heart (shaped like a heart of course) could project from its chest like a piston.  Would have been almost as realistic as the expectant smile he shows as she approaches in the actual program.  Even ignoring the behavior, the plotlines have so many "entertaining" improbable portions, like the Eoraptor unwittingly throwing a therapsid into Saurosuchus' mouth, that any illusion you're watching reality is destroyed.  And what was up with that swarm of hostile flies chasing the Antarctic fauna and killing the lizard... for blood!  Is this a 1950s horror movie or something?

Which would have all been excusable if the show at least taught us something.  Then it'd be a Dinosaur Train for adults, which wouldn't be my idea of a good program to watch, but would at least educate the part of the public that finds documentaries boring.  But no, I don't think there was any actual paleontological data contained in that hour, besides most of the portrayed anatomy and a few basic facts like "birds are dinosaurs" and "Cryolophosaurus is from Antarctica".  I say "most" because while the models were largely accurate, they sometimes contained some fictional aspect.  The rhamphorhynchoid tail fin on the female Eoraptors, for instance.  Or the highly elaborate wattles and soft horns on the male Gigantoraptor.  And when it comes to behavior, we have bower-building Eoraptors, color flushing Cryolophosaurus which killed the young of rival males, a stomping and twirling Gigantoraptor mating dance, Glacialisaurus which lived in harems (which we so know from the partial hindlimb...), etc.  It's not that these soft parts or behaviors are impossible, but Joe Public's only going to remember Gigantoraptor as "that goofy rainbow-colored thing that dances" or Eoraptor as "those raptors that cutely chirp and build mounds to select mates, and then care for their baby who adorably falls down, awwww".  So you're emphasizing the fictional aspects of these animals, while not going into any of the actual known interesting facts about them.

But maybe the show could have retained some use if all of this human-like/fictional appearance and behavior was there to illustrate some greater true scientific fact, that even network execs think viewers could remember.  Alas, no.  The implication of the Eoraptor portion was that dinosaur success was due to more complex parental care, but my impression has been that evidence for such care is limited to maniraptorans, supposed evidence for care in hadrosaurs (and thus Ornithischia) has been refuted, and that baby sauropods were too small to associate with adults and aren't apparent in herd trackways.  And even the mosasaur cares for its babies enough to get revenge on sharks for eating them (vengeance is such a widespread trait in squamates...).  As does the Cretaceous mammal, more realistically.  If you want to make the point dinosaurs were probably often brightly colored with display structures as the Gigantoraptor portion tries to, a far superior method would be to show say ten different possibilities for a few species in quick succession.  Changing colors and adding wattles wouldn't be that resource intensitive and would get the idea across to laymen without making it seem like we know they had definite soft features and patterns (I'm guessing the Yixian pigments were unknown when this was made).  The Cryolophosaurus portion taught us about the factual behavior... of lions.  The mosasaur segment taught us... er... "a mother's protective instinct is a force of nature than can change the world."  And the Glacialisaurus one taught us "a little bad luck goes a long way."  That's certainly scientific.  Maybe the next episode will teach us "the disadvantaged underdog can succeed with perseverance and faith in himself."  Sigh

To sum up, watch if you like largely accurate-looking dinosaurs acting like humans in zany situations and learning valuable life lessons.  If you want a show that clearly indicates which parts are based on paleontology, shows dinosaurs as they may have been, and teaches you something about them, keep dreaming.